"The Hostage Taker"
Starring John Boehner
In the Title Role
Gail Collins sees the House of Representatives as "the deranged Pomeranian that yelps and throws itself against the window and tears up the upholstery 24/7" in a remake of “The Dog Whisperer,” and the Senate as being "like a narcoleptic Great Dane you can hardly rouse for dinner." It appears my comment has been sent to the back of the bus, so here it is:
Actually, I think the House is acting a little more like the gang of bad guys in all those hostage-taker movies. I just looked at a list of the top-grossing hostage movies for the last 30 years, and I haven't seen one of them. Their hook is to scare you into thinking, "This could happen to me." Evidently the hook works because the movies worry me so much I avoid seeing them. Well, now I have to watch, because the House version has come to the New York Times' front page.
In the House reality movie, Speaker Boehner plays the part of the chief hostage-taker. Boehner tells his hostage -- played by President Obama -- he will only pass a continuing resolution for a whole two weeks IF the President agrees to institute the House's deep cuts on a pro-rated basis. The ransom for the two-week respite then is about $4 billion in cuts.
Meanwhile, hostage negotiator Harry Reid -- who, as you point out, is busy with other things -- sent out a spokesman to say Boehner's "reckless measure ... isn't going to fool anyone." (What? Do we need a reminder that a hostage-taker is a "reckless" person?) So Boehner, not to be outdone by the negotiator's slight, addressed Reid through his own spokesman: "It's up to Senator Reid to tell Americans what — if anything — he's willing to cut."
The plot twist in this nail-biter? It works a lot like the movies. In the movies, you worry it can happen to you. In the House reality movie, it does happen to you. We're all hostages.
I'd say the Hostage-in-Chief is counting on our sympathy. The hostage-taker had better watch out: the newly "beleaguered" Boehner has made himself the villain in this reality show, and the American people/hostages are not likely to take his side.