The Parable of the Sunbeam

Here is a copy of an email I wrote to Squarespace.

Maybe if I told you a little story, you could understand why I want you to fix my Squarespace site so it works for my readers and me.

I have a Sunbeam toaster. It was an especially popular toaster in 1952 when my father bought it for my mother. When you drop a slice of bread into the toast slot, the bread descends slowly into the toaster, the heating elements start up, they toast the bread, then the elements turn themselves off and toast rises slowly from the depths of the toaster. (Not a miracle of Biblical proportions perhaps, but a wonderment to the simple suburban Americans of 1952.)

This particular toaster has been in service of my family for almost 72 years. I am not saying it has been used every day for 72 years, but I calculate it has been used perhaps 26,000 times over the decades. I still use it almost every day. 

Not surprisingly, a toaster that has performed its function more than 25,000 times doesn't always work perfectly. These days, often when I plop a piece of bread in the slot, the bread does not descend, and I have to pick up the bread and drop it again. Sometimes a third time, and a fourth, before the bread descends slowly, slowly into its toasty place. 

And that's precisely the problem with Squarespace. I have had my Squarespace site since September 2008. These days, often when my readers and I try to perform simple tasks like posting a comment or editing a page, the site hangs up, it doesn't do the work, it loses a comment, the edit disappears into the great beyond, and I have to find the work and drop it again. Sometimes a third time, and a fourth, before the work appears, sometimes slowly, slowly, until the change is posted.

Now will you please fix that? I have waited for weeks for you to respond, and so far the best you can do is to eventually tell me you don't recognize my email address. And when I asked you what you wanted me to do to help you accept my email address with the same alacrity with which your billing department accepts my annual usage payments, you did not respond.

I have confidence that you can do better. Thank you.

Marie Burns

Comments

[Akhilleus]

Marie,

Your confidence may be a tad off. We shall see. Nonetheless, thanks for the attempt. It’s just a weird problem. Things work some of the time, but not most of the time. In fact, the weirdness is worsening. If the sunbeams don’t alight on the engineering crew soon, we may all be toast.

[Akhilleus]

See? That one only took four tries.